Wednesday, January 7, 2009
A line from one of my favorite books, "The History Of Love" by Nicole Krauss.
needs a friend
or a game
laughter would help
just anything to simplify this dissonance in my head
making me dizzy
never felt so confused.
you know that trick that super suave stage performers pull when they swipe the table cloth out from underneath the table settings without disturbing one piece?
that's what has happened to my foundation for life.
I suppose I could have used the more common cliche of "rug pulled out from beneath me".
but the image of the tablecloth trick is way better, so I stand by it.
just like that.
fence sitting has become a huge issue for me.
there are two of me.
I have two minds about everything.
can I shoot one of me?
even if I could, I don't know which one to shoot.
A special thanks to Reed for being a good friend and brother-in-law-ish-thing.
You really helped today, Reed. Thank you so much.
I really want to laugh. be five years old again.
I was happy when I was five.
life was easy.
how do I get back to that?
I don't feel well.
Fear and doubt consume me.
I need some peace.
Daddy, I need you. Scott, Andrew, Bishop, anyone who is able. I need help.