CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

MySkinIsMadeOfPorcelain

"Partofmeismadeofglass"

A line from one of my favorite books, "The History Of Love" by Nicole Krauss.

Fragile Laura
feeling lost.
needs a friend
or a game

laughter would help

just anything to simplify this dissonance in my head
massive storm
making me dizzy

never felt so confused.

you know that trick that super suave stage performers pull when they swipe the table cloth out from underneath the table settings without disturbing one piece?

that's what has happened to my foundation for life.
I suppose I could have used the more common cliche of "rug pulled out from beneath me".
but the image of the tablecloth trick is way better, so I stand by it.
gone.
just like that.

fence sitting has become a huge issue for me.
there are two of me.
I have two minds about everything.
can I shoot one of me?

even if I could, I don't know which one to shoot.

A special thanks to Reed for being a good friend and brother-in-law-ish-thing.
You really helped today, Reed. Thank you so much.

I really want to laugh. be five years old again.
I was happy when I was five.
life was easy.
how do I get back to that?

I don't feel well.
Fear and doubt consume me.
I need some peace.

Daddy, I need you. Scott, Andrew, Bishop, anyone who is able. I need help.
Please help.

4 comments:

The VerNooy's said...

I can help! I don't know how, but I am here if you need me. We love you Laura!

Kelli said...

You need a sister night! It just so happens that Adam left for campout for 3 days and I have nothing to do! Come visit me! We'll play. We'll gab. We'll mask and paint our nails. Seriously! When can you come?

Andrew Fretwell said...

"Light will rise from the shadows.
Hope will spring from the driest ground. Beauty is born from the ashes.
Where love and mercy guide,
Light will rise."

I made this quote my life for the last three years. It's always given me a little more strength to hold on with. Hopefully it can do the same for you. Hold on, Laura. We're here for you.

Anonymous said...

I will follow you into the night and stay there beside you as long as it takes. You know I've got your back.