SCOOP THAT BLOOP

*****

Not far from here, an incredibly handsome, tall young man named Scott was roaming in search of amusement. Scott was a hero who roamed the city using his moderately-super powers for good (sometimes for awesome). Here he is leaping (ok, falling, but in a very hero-like way) off a two-foot ball thingy with a single bound.

Heros who spend their days doing awesome can often grow lonely too. About the same time that Scott was ready to collapse in on himself like a dying star from the weight of the loneliness, he noticed something remarkable. From afar, he saw Laura wandering around, looking rather confused. He had no idea who this bombshell was, but he knew he had to meet her. He couldn't reach her through the crowds of people surrounding them, and she was wandering away. So he hopped into his galactic-traveler mobile (which was his preferred method of transportation, no matter how long the distance), and headed her way. Thanks to the low number of galactic-traveler mobiles that were driven in this area, the crowds were not accustomed to parting for a light-speed vehicular transport to take off, and Scott's transport was unfortunately just one model earlier than the one with vertical lift and hover included. So Scott couldn't get anywhere. Much like the Hulk, Scott grows when he is angered. His road rage made him grow to a size not suitable for his stransport.

He managed to calm himself by singing "I feel pretty", as he learned to do in his all-time favorite movie "Anger Management", returned to his normal size, and ran his rear across the grounds to where Laura had been, taking only a short break in this recliner because it was calling his name (well, it was saying "Scooty", which, though odd, he supposed was close enough).

[NOTE: "ANGER MANAGEMENT IS NOT REALLY SCOTT'S FAVORITE MOVIE. IN FACT, THE REAL SCOTT CAN'T STAND THAT MOVIE. I WOULD HAVE LEFT THIS NOTE OUT JUST TO IRRITATE MY SWEETHEART, BUT I DO LOVE HIM AND HE MIGHT HAVE TRIED TO TICKLE ME TO DEATH HAD I NOT SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT...]

Ok, rested and refreshed, Scott got back on the chase and found Laura almost exactly where she had been prior to his rest, as she was wandering in circles, completely lost.

Oh yes. He was smitten. You might even say he was "in deep smitt".

{Insert full romantic orchestration here}

He saw her.... She saw him.... *SIGH* (not a whimpy sigh, either. it's one of those big, long, "aw, I just read the most romantic thing ever, whimper whimper whimper" sighs).

Manic Anne was so evil. Look at how evil she is. Just look at her. She's a crazy person. Manic Anne devised many schemes to permanently separate Scott and Laura, thereby causing them both great unhappiness for the rest of their lives because she hates hem so much for some reason. (It's probably something very long-winded and tied into the family background. Y'know, something neither Scott nor Laura could ever control. Like, uh, Scott's great-great grandfather probably started casting Manic Anne's ancestors in plastic instead of iron, so they weren't as durable, or maybe Laura's great uncle's cousin twice removed was the one who decided to make Manic Anne's mother one of those detachable mannequins whose hands and legs can come off, making it easier to dress them for store display, but ultimately leaving the mother unable to ever comfort and sooth her child with a simple pat on the head. Maybe Manic Anne only ever got bopped with a stub because her mother's hands were constantly falling off. It had to be something twisted and sad like that).

One day, Scott was at home asleep in his bed, while Laura was tidying up the place.
When Laura looked over and noticed that Scott was looking slightly dead.Laura screamed and rushed to his side, which woke Scott from his death-like slumber. Scott JUMPED out of bed, startled by Laura's screams.

"Oh my goodness! You looked like you were dead!!!!", Laura explained

"I did? That's weird. I had the craziest dream that a pale white woman tried to kill me by hitting me with her car!", Scott replied.

"A pale white woman? Did she have a fierce look about her, like she could belong in a window display of any number of high-end fashion shops?", Laura inquired.

"That's Manic Anne!!!", Laura exclaimed.

"Who's Manic Anne?" Scott asked.

"Hellooooo, she's only our greatest nemesis! Scott, you really should read the story if you're going to be in it.", said Laura.

It was time to do some research. So Scott headed to the nearest library and read up on "Defeating Nemeses For Dumbies" (Not that Scott is a dumby. Those are just very helpful books).

While he was inside, a tiny circus bus drove by and kidnapped Laura! This must be the work of Manic Anne!!!!!!

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THE REMAINDER OF THIS TALE HAS BEEN OFFERED UP AS A SACRIFICE TO THE GODS OF SAD BREAK-UPS. MAY THE NEXT COUPLE TO ENGAGE IN SOMETHING THIS ABSURD FIND SOLACE IN THE END OF THE STORY BEFORE THE END OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP! THE FOLLOWING ARE THE PICTURES WE HAD YET TO FIT INTO THE TALE.